I am at the end of this book Abhorsen. It is the end of a trilogy that started with Sabriel and then Liriel. I checked these books out from the local library. Never heard of the author, Garth Nix. Lately I've been preoccupied with the concept of how death influences the self, so when I read that the book's heroine was necromancer with the ability to delve into death and effect change in the lived world, my interest was peaked. The books are entertaining, but I don't really know what to think. All I know that my thoughts are pondering and thinking hard about the subject. Normally I shrug off errant thoughts and move on to something else, but once my dreams incorporated the story and inserted me into the story line, I knew I would have to delve deeper.

I think most people think of death as more of as an end, rather than as a transitional state. Even devout believers in an afterlife still treat death as end.

Traditional Navajo religious thought, as I interpret it, the self is comprised of a multitude of powers. The self is many in one and at a person's death the self transitions back into the many. The self transitions back into the many parts of the cosmos.

I always wondered why Navajo traditions forbid speaking of people who have died. I think that other persons through the power of their thoughts and voice prevent a person from dissolution back into the cosmos. The composition of a person or of the self, does not carry on to an afterlife as a whole, it changes back into many other powers. As far as I know, Navajo religious tradition, does not mention or speak of an afterlife, nor does it suggest one. Which I think is an oddity when compare to other religious traditions around the world. I don't know if this makes any sense, but this is what ideas have been milling in my thoughts for awhile.

I've always had problems with the Cartesian maxim, "I think therefore, I am." I always wondered why it bugged me so much. I think some of it has to do with how Navajo religious thought influences my concept of self. "I" or the self in western thought is singular. The self in Navajo thought is also singular too, but it is composed of many others and that singularity is temporary and ends in death.

I didn't even get to talk about the book!

Tweakers: part 1

The latest book I am reading about how meth is destroying the lives of gay men is a bit sobering for me and also brings back many unpleasant memories. The examples used in the book resonate with me and relates on so many levels to the days that I used meth. I have been sober for over seven years now and yet the addictiveness of the drug still frightens me. I like the book, it reminds me of why I had get away from meth. Although I would like to hear a story chronicling a person recovery and all the hardships a person must undergo to rebuild their lives. As for myself, it seems, it took forever and at times I doubted whether I would ever be happy and fulfilled. All I remember hearing are the horror stories and never any successses. It seems that everything would forever be bleak. In my opinion the negatives are overstressed in order to prevent the possibility of any possible users from taking that often fatal step. I would do the same, but the doom and gloom, is not what a committed recovering users wants to hear.

I haven't completed this book, when I do, I comment again.

I recently finished this book. It was an interesting deviation from the normal book topics I choose. I admit I understood little, but I gleaned enough information to get a sense of what the author was attempting to convey. I feel like a understand a little more about the evolution of the financial world. I understand more of the reasons leading to the recent collapse of our nations finance world. It is dry reading, but I recommend this book, however I am still mystefied by the worlds intense obsession with money. Yeah... I need it, but I still don't get why it should take priority over so many other more relevant isssues.

Vampires

Lately I have been reading more novels about Vampires. I have always like vampire themed stories, even before the vampire mania sparked by the Twilight novels. For me, Anne Rice set the tone and standards for the current crop of authors.
Twilight was great. I read them all. I then moved on to the Bluebloods series, and then onto the novels by P.C. and Kristen Cast. They are fun reads, but they do awaken the inner school girl. So much for machismo.
However, I did start reading Vampire Vow. A fun and sexy story of gay vampire lovers.

Changes

My goodness!! When I subscribed to this service I began with so much earnestness, that it is a personal embarrassment that my dedication to express myself turned out to be yet another trivial thought. Not wanting to be viewed as trivial, mostly by myself, I thought I renew my original intentions to express myself, regardless of who is reading.

Lately I have been doing some web research on sculptures by the Roman artist during the Renaissance Period. For the most part the information has been a rehash of what I have read before. However lately, it seems that their has been some seepage of modern thought that is beginning to apply their interpretive tools to the art of that period.

Take for instance an interpretation of the statue of David by Michaelango. It was described that this work is one where conscious thought occurs before conscious actions. I do not know what it is about this idea, but it spurred a huge amount of reflective thought. It took awhile to finally unravel what disturbed me, but I think I finally grasped what is bothering me.

For while, it seems, that I have toiling thru life not living life consciously. My actions, my thoughts, were becoming routine and this is not at all how I would like to go through life. My thoughts were subconscious and not directed at all by any personal tenets that are important to me. I go to work, come home, watch the boob tube. I noticed that the forms of entertainment I was seeking out did not required that I actively engage my mind. It was like I went through a period of numbness. This I did not like.

To remedy the duldrums I was in I tried to begin reading novels and books I have been wanting to read. However after the intellectual laziness I indulged in, I could not concentrate. I was reading the words, but after reading I a chapter I could not recall what I read. This was a devastating moment for me, I pride myself in ability to absorb information while reading. Usually I while reading I synthesize the text with my existing knowledge and come to understanding that incorporates the new information. This was not happening.

Upon further thought, I finally admitted to myself that much of what I intellectually knew was no longer personal or no longer effecting my persona. Woe! I asked of myself, how did this happen to me. What do I do? I really don't have the answers, but I took some remedial steps. I am now re-reading every text in some way contributed to my worldview and ethical outlook. This recourse seems to be working. I know these texts and I remembering the feelings and emotions they elicited the first time I read them. I am remembering that it is feeling and emotions that nurtured the passion that drove me to discover the beauty in the world around me. I am finding myself and I think, I know that this the most important part of what makes living meaningful and fulfilling for me. It is the journey that I am yearning for. So there has been some feelings of livelyness reappearing in my life and the feelings of spiritual stagnation are beginning to fade.

To end this post, all I can say is that there is hope, always has been hope, for me it just required a swift kick in my mental ass! Much love, Rod.

Rod's Hello

This should be interesting. I like to write, I definitely have opinions about the world around us, but really, I never ever considered using a web tool such as this site to express how I see and view the world around me. I've seen the results of other people's endeavors and always was struck by how refreshing candid people could be. Regardless if their public potrayals are accurate renditions of thier lives, I still am impressed with how coherent and vibrant their online expressions can be. I only hope to do just as well.